I had extremely high hopes which could be attributed to the fact that it’s placed 5^th on Tom Bilyeu’s 25 recommended reading list to unlock your human potential and “level up your mindset”. Who is Tom? Tom Bilyeu is a multi-entrepreneur on his way to building the next Disney empire. His track record for transforming his mindset and that of his team leading to professional success is something that I want for myself as well. I initially planned to go in order reading Mindset by Carol Dweck first and so on, but I’ve admittedly skipped around based on what was readily available on one of my two library subscription-based apps, my interests, and Impact Theory University’s book of the month. I’d been waiting to get my hands on a digital copy of Grit for over 3 months. Let me set the stage for where I was before I started the book.

Being Seen and Risk-taking

At my job, I was on a project where I really needed to hunker down on my “why” because the daily work was such a mental battle for me. I needed inspiration. I was avoiding the work I intellectually knew I wanted to achieve but was hiding from. I needed or wanted (I can’t tell which yet) an external reason to get me to do that stuff. It’s terrible to admit at age 25, but I need parenting! I wish it came from my own internal drive to move forward and propel myself into the person I want to become – a professional woman who loves her work, who tackles challenging problems, who supports technological innovation in life sciences, who also handmakes her own clothes and her friends/families, who has a love for cultural exploration, who speaks Spanish and seeking to learn other languages,  who has lived abroad in a non-English dominant country, who has a wonderful husband and partner who is passionate about his work and able to provide for his family – I want all of that.

However, I find that just as I start to work on moving toward that future, I’m more motivated to only focus on the language learning or on the intellectual self-development side letting other responsibilities fall. This likely is a form of me self-sabotaging. This is likely a form of me hiding from my potential. Whatever this obvious lack of progress is, I thought I could find a solution in the book. Was that too much to ask? I wasn’t looking for a resolution for the root cause of my problem, just a path forward on how to bridge the gap between who I am (as defined by my actions) and who I want to be (as defined above).

I once had a boss when I was a residential advisor (RA) who sat me down. I was a second-year RA on a staff of predominately first-year RAs, and we were going over my ½ year performance about to start a new semester. I had just shared my vision for how I’d support my residents and the programming I’m interested in providing. Her feedback was basically: “I think you have a lot of great ideas. You’re a smart brilliant woman who is tackling a lot with being an RA, an engineering student, a newly initiated sorority member, and probably more. I see you doing so much to work on yourself. Why don’t you share your thoughts and speak up more? Why don’t you share those ideas as you’re learning and forming an opinion and coach your fellow RAs? That’s what this environment is for.”

Well, I wish I’d leaned into that advice and put more effort into sharing myself with my peers. Now as I’m sitting in my childhood room and living with my parents during the COVID-era of 2020, I’m forcing myself, in limited company, to learn, think, and speak in that order on an ongoing basis. It’s not the same as a college environment but it’s a conscious activity that I’m glad I’m undertaking now. It’s better late than never.

Defining Expectations

Of all the recommended books, Grit by Angela Duckworth was meant to be my ticket to clarity. It had to be because as a Harvard professor who’d worked in a competitive corporate environment and taught in an inner-city environment and seen students exceed and not meet expectations, she knew way more than me through experience on the topic. Unfortunately, I haven’t done many “risky” activities that could have exposed me to deep learning. I haven’t really challenged myself or had a mouth-watering steak-like goal in mind that’s sustained me over a long period of time. Therefore, this book had to have some answers to my questions like:

• How does one define what they want?
• How does one systematically construct the future that’s worth pursuing?
• When should you pivot if the goals you are currently pursuing don’t truly fit what you want?

I most wanted help on the first question though. My metrics for defining if this book was good enough was binary:

• Do I know what I want my future to look like?
• Do I have a clear idea of how to structure my short and mid-term goals to achieve that future?
• Do I have an understanding of what risks and challenges I’ll need to overcome?

Based on that criteria, the book came up short. To be fair, those three questions are more like wishes.  Maybe I should have asked a mystical genie for such support. After all, Aladdin was a street rat who stole and lied and didn’t take on responsibility. Ultimately, he found love and a life worth living for when he acknowledged his duties. The genie helped him learn that although not in a very straightforward way. If I could call on a genie or a mystical orb, I could have similar support.

I know that Grit should never have been put on such a high pedestal. My knee-jerk reaction, the initial frown on my face once the audiobook concluded, meant that my journey wasn’t over. My resting face has been described as an expression of loss or confusion – I’m talking mouth partly opened and eyebrows slightly raised. I hardly ever catch myself frowning, but I did. It was a stern, closed-lip furrowed eyebrow look. I caught myself even “hmmmm-ing”. It meant that to get full closure, I needed to ultimately clarify my ultimate professional and personal goals elsewhere. However, I do feel compelled to give the book a fair review. So, I ask the question, “what makes a good book?” To answer this, we should first define the meaning of “good”.

What’s Good?

Socialist and psychology professor Jonathon Haidt evaluates such notions as “good”, “goodness”, “fair” in his book “What Separates Good People from Race, Religion, and Politics”. He breaks down different frameworks on morality where, depending on the cultural context and norms, a wide or narrow set of values can be the baseline for establishing a moral code. For instance, morality could just depend on not doing another person bodily harm. In this case, all books, therefore, are good because they are objects. They are nothing but tools that man wields but in and of themselves books can’t be morally bad. If we broaden our understanding of morality to include respect for others, acceptance of responsibility, and fair treatment for all then maybe we can better evaluate each other. However, in this case, it doesn’t seem that evaluating a book on moral goodness is the right framework.

Let’s define a good book then as one that encourages the reader to think in an inspired way. The Merriam webster’s definition for inspired,

 (adj): of extraordinary quality, as if arising from some external creative impulse

Can be applied here. A good book delivers a story, message, or theory that leaves the reader with a lingering follow-up question or contentment. A book’s contents can generate a current that runs through the reader and lights a spark to do something further. A good book generates momentum. Not only that it delivers information that is useful to the reader.

Now, we should define what’s useful. A book’s usefulness depends on the reader’s intent. Let’s say I’m reading fiction which at face-value may seem useless. Don’t people only read fiction to escape the realities of the world? How does reading fiction serve a greater purpose? Let’s look at the Harry Potter series – a take on the classic archetype of the hero’s journey. A boy against all odds must overcome this imminent evil that mustn’t be named because the world has been afraid of its shadows. The boy with the help of friends he has found along the way defeats the evil but only once he faces himself and his responsibilities. It’s when he’s embraced his full self and embraced the world as is, can he be a hero. All this is shown in the span of 7 books, and it’s shared in a way that’s digestible for a kid so that maybe that planted seed of taking on responsibility can grow as the kid grows up.

Objectively that story, that message, IS useful because Harry Potter illustrates how one should act in the world. Actions have consequences. Any child at age 8 who may have intended to primarily read for pleasure by picking up a book is also open to the world of possibilities and receptive to themes in the book. Fiction serves a greater purpose by showcasing important themes like how to lead one’s life. This can encourage people to act honorably as the hero does (I say this since most adventure fiction books have at least one hero). Readers of that book will also have a shared language to reference how that want to lead their lives. That shared language being culture – who doesn’t love a good Hermione reference when one gently corrects a friend they care about when they do something wrong? You can say the truth in a loving way, to help correct improper behavior and have a good laugh about it. You know the scene I’m referring to – when Hermione provides feedback to Ron during their first year at Hogwarts!

Jim Kiwik in his book “Limitless” explores ways in which we can improve our capacity to do more in the world – to live limitless. A cornerstone of a limitless life is the ability to learn useful information in a timely manner and implement t skills learned in a proactive way. Too often especially with the way school systems are structured, we commonly equate knowledge to knowing. The brain is seen as a library where lots of information is stored but not necessarily “checked” out (Tom Bilyeu). The common phrase “knowledge is power” was attributed to Sir Francis Bacon by his former secretary Thomas Hobbes (Limitless pg 97). However, Hobbes full explanation of the sentiment didn’t weather the sands of time so well:

“The end of knowledge is power; and the use of theorems is for the construction of problems; and, lastly, the scope of all speculation is the performing of some action, or thing to be done” [Emphasis added]. (Limitless pg 97)

To be incited to action and its performance is what ultimately makes knowledge powerful. We have so much access to knowledge – the fact that the search engine Google has become so fundamental in our lives is apparent by the fact that “google” has become a formalized verb in Webster dictionary.[i] (Yes, I googled it to confirm! It’s been in the dictionary since 2006.[ii]) In this error of instant accessibility, there’s a swamp of information of available and not all of it is useful. Ultimately one has to be intentional about what information they seek and how they want to use it.

The marriage between quality source material and output has never been more necessary. Yet, Kiwik defines it as the emphasis on output as a way of cementing learnings is easily lost given the digital deluge. Knowledge can be power if action follows. At the moment we’re referring to only potential. Jim Kwik argues that “all books, podcasts, seminars, online programs, and inspiring social media posts in the world won’t work until you put your knowledge into action” (Limitless 98). Just like knowledge in general, the medium of that content can be good if there’s action. Moving forward I will equate good and power to utility. Utility as I shared before is dependent on a reader’s intent and ability to digest the content. If I provide commentary on a book that I have read, I am using my singular perspective, based on my initial viewpoint of the world and my goals for reading the content. I don’t wish to dismay potential readers from forming their own opinions. When I say that something is good: it meets the criteria of being useful to me and has inspired me to take further action like taking a deeper dive into that topic, thinking differently, engaging in conversation, writing about it, and more. There are numerous ways to generate momentum post-read.

[i] “Google.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/google. Accessed 5 Dec. 2020.

[ii] “Google”. LAtimes.com, LA Times, https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2006-jul-07-fi-google7-story.html. Accessed 5 Dec. 2020